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Slice of Life

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Alone

I used to fear being alone. I remember clearly the first summer both of our boys got jobs. Ryan worked at a local golf course between eighth grade and freshman year and Shaun worked for a lake restoration project as a future sophomore. The house was quiet from seven until two in the afternoon.

While alone, I would wander around the house seeming much bigger and the quiet much quieter. The time seemed to advance more slowly. I could not focus on any one thing: reading, chores, gardening. When the phone rang I would sprint to answer it, anxious for the voice at the other end. Turning on the radio or the TV helped but was not the same.

Fast forward to today. The quiet is no longer frightening. I hear the mantle clock, the boiler, the birds outside, and my dog's quiet snore. I hear the sounds that were obscured many years ago when voices were absent for the first time. The sounds were always there but I didn't know how to hear them. Tick, tock, tick tock...the mantle clock has a beautiful beat. Snore, breath, snore breath...my dog adds a melody. Snap, snap, snap, hum...the boiler kicks in some percussion.

Being alone can be a good thing. There is time for reflection, rest, and noticing things that have been in the background. There is time to recharge and time to focus on jobs set aside in favor of a more social setting. Though I long for my husband's voice once again, being alone is now okay...in small doses.

7 comments:

  1. It is strange how you get ok with the house noises, and even comforted by all those background noises. What I DON'T like is when my dog hears one I don't hear! But when I can reassure my self that she is reacting to a deer or a car at a distant neighbor's, I can now dismiss it and go back to hearing the symphony of the background sounds you hear when you are alone.

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  2. I had great fear and anxiety just before my girls went off to school. I did not know how I would get along with all of the busyiness of having a family at home. I am now accustomed to the silence. There is now an adjustment period when the house is full again.

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  3. There is such progression in your piece and your ability to endure and embrace solitude and quiet. You are not alone and your writing is a connection.

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  4. I love your intro and then your description of how you now appreciate the sounds you hear, "the clock, the dog, the boiler". I miss my husband's voice too. Thanks, Wanda.

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  5. Although I still have my husband and children at home, I do love my alone time. But like you said in small doses.

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  6. You are so right about that alone time - in small doses it's great. The goal is balance - I guess - but the sound of silence can be deafening - unless you punctuate it with sounds.

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  7. Alone time in small doses. I have found it helps me balance everything a bit more and I am more productive. I usually have to leave my house to find silence, but the day will come when the silence is here and it will be different.

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